Sunday, November 14, 2010

Coming to a Christmas Card Near You...

My talented friend Tifani took us out for a photo shoot last week. She did an amazing job. Some of my favorites:

Sunday, November 7, 2010

It's 9:19. Do you know where your kids are?

Mine snuck a hymnal upstairs to their darkened bedroom and are singing "All Creatures of Our God and King." With their best vibrato. I don't think it gets better than this. :)

Catch of the Day

Each month, Marty takes one of the kids out on a date. This month it's Jacob's turn. Armed with worms, marshmallows, cheese-flavored glitter bites, and two kinds of Powerbait, they set out to conquer the fish pond. So this was dinner yesterday. Way to go, Jacob!

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Possibly Our Best FHE Lesson Ever

I'll let you in on a little secret. My children are, in almost all respects, fairly civilized. They all wear clothing. Three out of four can use utensils at the dinner table. Their mouths can form the words "please" and "thank you" if they really want something, and the phrase "I'm sorry" if threatened. They sleep in beds. They will put on shoes if it is below freezing outside. But...

they cannot use a toilet properly to save their life.

After yet another bathroom flooding incident yesterday, this was our Family Home Evening lesson:

Toilet Test

1. When you use the toilet, there are several steps you must complete (besides the obvious.) Please put the following steps in order:

a. Put down the lid
b. Wash your hands
c. Flush the toilet
d. Dry your hands
e. Put up the seat
f. Put up the lid
g. Wipe your bottom

2. How much toilet paper should you use?

a. Half a mile
b. Two rolls
c. A piece the length of this house
d. A piece the length of your arm

3. How many times should you flush the toilet?

a. Zero
b. One
c. Two
d. As many as it takes – just ignore the overflowing water

4. How much will your parents charge you if you clog the toilet again?

a. $10
b. $20
c. $50
d. You don’t want to know

5. When you pee in the toilet, where should you aim?

a. At the flush handle
b. At the middle of the toilet bowl
c. At the floor in front of the toilet
d. At the bathtub

6. If you do not aim correctly, what will be your consequence?

a. You will clean the toilet every single day (possibly for the rest of your life)
b. You will build and use an outhouse in the backyard
c. You will be held personally responsible for Mommy’s mental breakdown
d. All of the above