Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Possibly Our Best FHE Lesson Ever

I'll let you in on a little secret. My children are, in almost all respects, fairly civilized. They all wear clothing. Three out of four can use utensils at the dinner table. Their mouths can form the words "please" and "thank you" if they really want something, and the phrase "I'm sorry" if threatened. They sleep in beds. They will put on shoes if it is below freezing outside. But...

they cannot use a toilet properly to save their life.

After yet another bathroom flooding incident yesterday, this was our Family Home Evening lesson:

Toilet Test

1. When you use the toilet, there are several steps you must complete (besides the obvious.) Please put the following steps in order:

a. Put down the lid
b. Wash your hands
c. Flush the toilet
d. Dry your hands
e. Put up the seat
f. Put up the lid
g. Wipe your bottom

2. How much toilet paper should you use?

a. Half a mile
b. Two rolls
c. A piece the length of this house
d. A piece the length of your arm

3. How many times should you flush the toilet?

a. Zero
b. One
c. Two
d. As many as it takes – just ignore the overflowing water

4. How much will your parents charge you if you clog the toilet again?

a. $10
b. $20
c. $50
d. You don’t want to know

5. When you pee in the toilet, where should you aim?

a. At the flush handle
b. At the middle of the toilet bowl
c. At the floor in front of the toilet
d. At the bathtub

6. If you do not aim correctly, what will be your consequence?

a. You will clean the toilet every single day (possibly for the rest of your life)
b. You will build and use an outhouse in the backyard
c. You will be held personally responsible for Mommy’s mental breakdown
d. All of the above


chantal said...

I so needed a laugh today! Sorry you have to deal with that, but you certainly came up with a creative solution. Keep us posted as to whether things improve.

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

Awesome. Nothing can beat a lesson that actually improves the quality of family life.


we don't have this issue yet, but I will keep this handy just in case. :) We have similar FHE's around other topics.

jadell said...

Fantastic! May I please borrow that test for my equally civilized children? :)

Brittany Roscheck said...

That's hilarious!

Anonymous said...

I want to know how your kids answered these questions. And I may ask my own children these same questions just to see if we can improve our own bathroom problems.

Davies Family said...

So funny, and so creative. I love it! If we ever start having toilet issues, I'm gonna copy this.